Have you been direct?
Have you been encouraging?
Have you considered my needs?
Have you sought to understand?
Have you helped me understand your needs?
Have you accepted?

Instead:
Have you made me feel guilty?
Have you lied to me? (Omitted the truth even?)
Are you trying to manipulate me?
Have you stacked another against me?
Have you falsely represented your need?
Have you grumbled?

The former respects both parties regardless the outcome.

The former is loving and the later is unequal; it is unlikely to get a respectful response even if your need is met.

We won’t always get these things right, although we do have the power to communicate and negotiate our needs/desires etc. maintaining boundaries respecting ourselves and others. This is one of the special aspects of being human.